Wiggas in Miami
Heil so hard, motherfuckers wanna fine me.
It is almost a year to the day that New York Magazine dropped this cover piece hailing the next generation of Republicans. The piece weaves around the week of Trumps inauguration; parties laden with well dressed under 35s, influencers, and digital natives all reveling in the fact that “free speech” had finally won. Ultimately, the piece concludes that this new wave of young conservatism was now main stream, and not just that, it was also cool.
Retrospectively, the irony here is that this magazine cover didn’t hallmark the beginning of a new, hip conservatism. Rather, it denoted the peak of the movement. The day the wave finally broke and rolled back.
The Most Magical Night of the Year.
In early January 2026, a group of various right-wing influencers got together to livestream a club night on Miami Beach. A true Super-Bowl of terminally online politics, the event was attended by Sneako, a half-Haitian former artist-turned-slop streamer; the Tate brothers, half-Black sex traffickers pushing 40; Myron Gains, a Sudanese, perpetually single, 35-year-old podcast host; Nick Fuentes, a half-Mexican truecel; Clavicular, a 19-year-old white looksmaxxer who is somehow the least racist one here; and Justin Waller, a Tate clone.
The group rented a party van and made their way to a South Beach club known as Vendome. Inside they mulled around as various cameramen captured every angle live in 4k. Every sentence, every interaction, documented and streamed to thousands of gleeful children all over the world.
That fateful evening, the boys requested their favorite song at Vendome. A special song written by Kanye West to herald in the cultural dominance of right-wing freedom of expression. When Heil Hitler Hit the charts on May 8th 2025, the right wingers finally had their anthem. A song that summed up the true values of young conservatism; performative and meaningless anti-sociality.
Hence, the song played, the boys danced, and the clip went turbo-viral. What followed has been a shitstorm of backlash from all sides. Major publications have reported on it, Vendome denounced what happened and fired three employees, and the Mayor of Miami himself made a statement. What’s more interesting however is the clip has been universally panned by their audience and the right in general. Not because what they did was so transgressive or offensive, but because it was deeply, deeply embarrassing.
The “Bandkidification” of The Right.
It took a few days to nail down exactly what was so embarrassing about this clip. Then, it all clicked. It was band-kid humor.
The archetype of the band-kid is a child who leans into anti-sociality to signal out-group status. Most importantly, they do this in the safest way possible. They will never truly transgress social boundaries. Rather, they’ll push them with idiosyncrasies and “safe edgy” humor. Blaring the Soviet anthem, quoting memes in conversations, and finding others who do the same. Overall, they are performatively annoying with no actual substance. They simulate edginess with no real social drawbacks. An archetype so perennial and embarrassing, “band-kid” has become proverbial for the concept of being cringe.
Breaking down the video, the hallmarks of these band-kidesque qualities are everywhere. The stream begins with Sneako and Clavicular in a party bus on their way to pick up the other boys. White, fluorescent lights glare above them like an office cubicle as they make no attempt to curate a vibe. Behind them sit a group of women all staring at their phones. The whole thing reeks of try-hardness, like teenagers throwing their first house party because they saw one in a movie. The pieces are there, but they don’t make a whole.
The stream continues and the rest of the boys pile in, white lights still blaring down and making them all look like shit. According to the Tate Brothers, Sneako grabbed a phone from Justin Waller’s hand and played Kanye’s Heil Hitler for the first time that evening, like a teenager hijacking the aux to play Crazy Frog at the function. The boys rejoiced in this gag and began singing along. Myron Gains, a Sudanese man pushing 40, began sieg heiling to the beat attempting to impress men who are ten years younger than him.
They arrive at Vendome. A club that has been described as a “TGI Friday’s with bottle service”; a simulation of a real Miami club for tourists to live out their Vice City fantasies. The boys aren’t drinking of course, Nick Fuentes has never had a sip of alcohol in his life, Clavicular can’t because it will ruin his looksmaxxing gains. Similar to an autistic teenagers at a house party, they turn down alcohol solely for the rush of patronizing others. Alcohol is goyslop, and the boys have to stay pure.
In the club they stand awkwardly off to the side. Nick can be heard rejecting the advances of women. Justin Waller rants to the boys about how women aren’t worth talking to. Amongst the chatter, the fateful moment begins. The opening booms of Heil Hitler blast over the speaker. The boys’ faces light up,
Heil Hitler is their song, an inside joke that they all understand and can bond over. Sneako mouths the lyrics, Clav leans over to sing in Nick’s ear, Andrew and Fuentes move their hands up and down in unison (“this is what you’re supposed to do at clubs right”). The camera pans away from the boys to the crowd in front of them and nobody is moving. In fact, most of them are visibly having a bad time.
Again, like a group of band kids hijacking the JBL speaker to play All-Star, it all reads as anti-social and annoying. This wasn’t the epic moment they thought it was. 21-year olds are trying to enjoy the South Beach nightlife and all of the sudden a group of adult men start playing a song about Hitler to dance on tables with each other.
It’s not about the anti-Semitism of it all. Of course there’s no doubt that a few of these men are genuinely hateful, but that wasn’t the point. The point was to try and signal this safe-edgy, in-group epicness to each other and their audience of children watching. It’s band-kid humor with right wing characteristics, albeit far more dangerous, but cringe nonetheless.
But like a prank that went too far, the boys didn’t anticipate what would happen next, and now they’re scrambling to blame each other.
We Called Your Mom, She’s Very Upset.
In the following days, a promoter called Sneako live on stream to inform him that he has been virtually banned by every major restaurant group in the America, citing the anti-Sematic nature of the boys night out. Following this, the Tate brothers appeared on Patrick Bet David’s podcast to inform him they didn’t want to be there in the first place. Andrew’s original plan was to leave after 15 minutes and it wasn’t their idea to play Heil Hitler. Sneako watched the footage back on stream to prove that the Tates were in on it, and Fuentes has been mocking all of them.
It’s like your friend convinces you it’d be funny to call in a fake bomb threat to the principal’s office and now you’re both crying to the cops blaming each other. They’re not sorry because the song was offensive, they’re sorry that the whole thing was embarrassing, and now they have to live with the consequences.
LARPing
This whole story sums up the path the young right has taken. They’ve had the cultural majority for just over a year and social media has been flooded with dozens of embarrassing clips. Tiny men in MAGA hats getting slapped, Neo Nazis getting dragged by their feet out of protests, and a middle aged Myron Gains gleefully seeking approval from children.
Meanwhile, the administration has used them as useful idiots. To the chagrin of the young right, Trump hasn’t stopped any wars, has refused to focus on domestic policy, has bombed eight different countries, and continues to bow to Israel. The influencers who screamed ‘America First’ got more foreign intervention. The podcasters who promised a return to traditional values got cabinet positions filled with billionaires and defense contractors. The young right adopted Trump as the based contrarian choice and have received nothing in return.
The 2025 New York Magazine cover didn’t denote a rising youth movement, it captured a bunch of 20-somethings LARPing out a Great Gatsby party. The Vendome clip isn’t emblematic of how fascist America is becoming, it’s indicative of just how empty the young right is. The entire movement has continually proven itself to be a bunch of smarmy 4chan contrarians snickering in the corner at the cafeteria.
Anti-social, cringe, and incapable of anything meaningful.
> The entire movement has continually proven itself to be a bunch of smarmy 4chan contrarians snickering in the corner at the cafeteria.
You mean gammas? I seen quite a few woman claim they are betas, but plausibly guys are better equipped to measure the actual position of other guys on the SSH, regardless of how much bullshit said hierarchy is (and it's a *lot* of BS).
And in addition, a *thank you* for explaining the meaning and significance of that image with the 7 guys to us ~40-year-olds who once upon a time knew every single meme and still know a few Rules other than Rule 34, but who have since dropped out of it. Internet was better before they invented The Feed.